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Spoiling the Moment:

when something seems wrong


No, we are not joking.
If intercourse is still causing you some burning, yet you treated your vaginismus fully by now and have no problem at inserting dilators, and if all gynaecological exams to rule out bacteria have resulted negative, then your vagina may be allergic to sex!

Mind you, these allergies are quite rare, so it's probably not likely to be your case, but it's just something worth considering if nothing else explains the problems you are experiencing during sex.

These are the main 2 allergies re. sex:

1 Allergy to your partnerís semen

2 Allergy to latex (condoms)

1. You could be allergic only to that particular partnerís semen or to semen in general. You may notice because after sex, youíll feel the area itching, especially after a few minutes and it will last for a few hours and then go away.. If so, the only alternative seems that of using a condom of course, or to avoid intercourse or ejaculation inside the vagina.
Talk to a doctor about this.

2. Latex is very allergenic so you may find that during sex or afterwards, if you used a latex condom, you may have a rash where the condom touched your skin. Try and swap to a non-latex condom if you can find it in your area or avoid intercourse!


This can be complicated to explain in specific and medical terms without knowing your individual case so, to cut a long story short, there can be many different reasons why women bleed after sex so you won't be able to pin point one just by guessing. You will have to see a doctor.
But we can at least try to reassure you.
Studies show that in at least half of all cases of women who reported blood after intercourse, doctors cannot find a specific medical reason or problem. Very few women who bleed will have cervical cancer but those with cervical cancer are more likely to bleed than those without.
So basically, if there is bleeding, it is probably not a problem and it may go away or be occasional, but you should tell your doctor and have a Pap test to make sure things are ok.


Some discomfort and soreness are quite common to experience the first time you'll manage to have intercourse after dilating or after a long time of 'inactivity'.
Because there are many muscles involved during sex, it is totally normal to feel sore for a couple of hours or even longer after particularly long first intercourse sessions, since the muscles will have to get used to the stretching.
If you practice any sport, you'll probably notice that it's a similar feeling to when you go back to working out after some months or weeks without exercising.
Nothing to worry about, the more you'll have intercourse, the less sore your muscles will feel.
However, if what you experience feels more like pain, and it hurts you, you may want to stop having intercourse for a while and consider the following reasons:

- Your vagina may not be ready to have intercourse yet and you may need to dilate some more or to dilate a bit right before intercourse until you experience no pain or discomfort when using the biggest dilator.

- Your partner may be thrusting for too long and it's probably not a good idea for the first times to be doing that. He may 'need' that in order to come, but coming shouldn't be a priority for sure, especially when you have to experience any pain for his pleasure. Tell him how you feel and if he cares, he won't put you through any discomfort of course. Then with time he may try thrusting for longer periods of time (depending on his control of course). But take it easy at first.

- You may have some of the problems we described above such as allergy to latex or sperm, or there may be something else there, some infection going on.

- If the pain seems to be originating from the outside, then you may want to get checked for VULVODYNIA and Vulvar Vestibulities or also for Endometriosis, which only a doctor would be able to diagnose so we would suggest that you go talk to your gynaecologist about any pain you experience during or after sex.

So, rule of thumb: if it's discomfort, it could be due to the muscles getting used to the friction or to poor foreplay or inadequate preparation beforehand and it's a normal experience and it should go away the more you have intercourse. You could try have a warm bath to relax the muscles. You should feel better.

If it's more than discomfort or if it doesn't subside with time, then refrain from intercourse or change the position and pace of it, and if it's really bad or doesn't stop, go see a practitioner with experience in vaginismus and dyspareunia. Your vagina may be trying to tell you something important once again.

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DISCLAIMER: This site is not designed to provide medical advice. All material is gathered from the experience of hundreds of women who experienced vaginismus but it is for information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional or medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment. Please review the information contained on vaginismus-awareness-network.org carefully and confer with a health care professional specialized in vaginismus, as needed.