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Vaginismus & Drugs:
Anti-depressants, Estrogen, Muscle-relaxants

Did you ever think some day you would take anti-depressants in order to have sex ?

We guess you never thought that one day you might need to take such drugs in order to have sex or to have some sex-drive at all.

It can be a pretty depressing thought.

Some women are depressed or anxious even BEFORE having vaginismus, and vag. can add on to those issues and be an extra burden, so solving vaginismus for them may not solve the underlying issues causing their depression.
Other women feel depressed AFTER realizing that something is not working like clock-work in the sex-department and solving vaginismus may solve their depression in some cases.

As for panic attacks, if you are under any sort of pressure to fix vaginismus, it seems perfectly understandable to experience them. For instance, some intensive treatments have been reported to be too much pressure for some women and it is sad and scary to see the use of anti-depressants given in such circumstances to women who just need more time and less pressure.

Anyway, no matter whether the depression came before the vaginismus or vice-versa, (which is a chicken-and-egg kind of question), or whether or not the woman is depressed or not, what is clear is that anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications will sometimes be prescribed to women with vaginismus.

In this article we want to take a good look not only at the actual drugs which are often prescribed, to see if they work and at what price sometimes, but also at some of the reasons why they are prescribed and some of the assumptions behind those prescriptions, so that hopefully we can help you make an informed, more aware decision.

The most commonly prescribed drugs for vaginismus

This is a list of the drugs commonly prescribed in the treatment of vaginismus that we gathered from stories of women with vag. we have talked to.
Read below for individual chapters with information on vaginismus and those drugs and if you want us to add a drug or tell us your story, please email us or join our forum.

So, in alphabetical order:






Medical drugs and anti-anxiety medications in particular do not always automatically equal bad, or the 'easy' way out of vaginismus or depression.
Sometimes depression is a chemical, clinical problem and suicidal thoughts can escalate into suicidal or self-harming intentions.
Sometimes peace of mind is worth some physical risks; sometimes so is being able to lead a "normal" life (whatever that is!) whereas sometimes it's this world that's depressing and we are just normally sad to see the state things are in but we are the ones dubbed crazy.

Sometimes women with vaginismus will use the following medicines as a starting point, as an initial crutch whilst exploring other types of therapy.
Other women may not be depressed but they can't take that first step towards dilating because of great anxiety.
Other women are not depressed but cant get themselves to have a Pap smear test without some type or other of medical support to help their muscles or mind relax.

So hopefully the following information will help you make the best decision for you.
In general, we find that in some cases the prescription of those drugs is uncalled for, especially when:
* your body may have very good reasons for not being relaxed and open in general or towards your partner

* you are not depressed

* when it's just too dangerous and not worth risking some of the side-effects

* when you are paying a lot to have vaginismus fixed by professionals who prescribe such drugs while you are in their care, then we see the use of such drugs during treatment as slightly cheating.
You could take those medicines (on prescription) and try dilating on your own while you're on them, before spending tons of money to get other people do the same for you, when it may be the pills which are helping you and not them.

2 drugs, 2 women with vag, 2 different stories

Theres a wide range of experiences when it comes to understanding whether or not anti-depressants or muscle-relaxants will help in the context of vaginismus. We could spare you the troubles of looking for feedback on a specific drug because what youre likely to find are many women who found a certain drug beneficial, some women who found it did nothing for them and some who would not recommend it to their worst enemy.
So youd still be back to square one, wondering whether or not it would be good for YOU.

However, the two true stories we feature below can sum up pretty well the many variations and outcomes out there. It may be worth reading both of them and asking yourself the same questions we asked these women and see what reaction you have at reading them, and be very honest with yourself.

Although these two young women had different experiences with different drugs, they both came to the same conclusion basically: that it may be ok to use some drugs to help us relax a bit, especially at the beginning, but they both sent a warning against using such drugs over a long period or using them to numb our reservations about treatment/sex etc.

Lauras experience with Valium (diazepam)

What or who convinced you to take it and why ?

I was prescribed Valium as a muscle relaxant and anti-anxiety drug by my doctor after going to see her about vaginismus. I told her how frustrated I was because I had been stuck on the second dilator for what seemed like forever.

My doctor convinced me that it was a good idea to try valium because she seemed sensible about it and told me to take it responsibly and not to take it too often. She seemed aware of the possible negative effect which taking it too often could bring about so I trusted she knew what she was talking about.

For how long were you put on it?

I was prescribed the lowest dosage available and was asked to take one about half an hour before dilating. She made it clear that I wasnt to take them all the time or I could become reliant on them to be able to dilate. She said it was important that I only use it occasionally to show my body (and my mind) that I could insert the next dilator without pain.

Were you aware of the health-risks for a foetus if you got pregnant ?

The doctor didn't explain this, although she did ask me if there was any chance I could be pregnant before prescribing it. She also told me to read the leaflet that comes with the valium. As she was aware that I couldn't have intercourse and that the valium was only for dilating, she knew I wasn't going to become pregnant.

Were you told to try and have intercourse while being on such medications ?

She never told me to try and have intercourse while being on valium, no.

Did they work for you or did you experience side effects ?

I did not experience any side effects and in fact I felt no different at all. It was therefore quite a surprise to me when the first time I took the Valium, I was able to insert the next dilator in my dilating session.

Did vag. come back when you stopped taking the muscle-relaxants ?

No it didnt come back. The Valium appeared to work just as the doctor had said it could. I had shown my body that it was not painful and from then on I could insert the next dilator without taking Valium. I only ever took it once to show myself I could do it, and after that I could do it anytime I wanted without taking the drug.

Would you recommend them to other women or not ?

I would recommend them to women who feel as though they are stuck in a rut. I would only ever advise taking them as I did though to avoid becoming reliant on them. I think they may also be useful for women who are going to have a gyno exam or similar as long as a small dosage is given. Also, remember to never take Valium with alcohol as it can massively increase the effects of the drug.

Glorias experience with Xanax and Effexor XR

What or who convinced you to take it and why ?

Although I had never suffered from depression or panic attacks in the past, during my first physical therapy session I was in a high state of panic which caused me an anxiety attack. With hindsight I realized I was under too much pressure but when I was adviced to take Xanax, I did.
It was absolutely helpful for me in the first sessions, but then my body didnt respond with the initial dosage so the dosage was increased a few times, until I was switched to a different drug (EffexorXR).

For how long were you put on it?

I was on Xanax for a few weeks during the physical therapy and I was advised to take it occasionally whenever I needed it to help overcome my anxiety related with vaginismus.
As for EffexorXR, I had to keep taking it for months.

Were you aware of the health-risks for a foetus if you got pregnant?

I assumed that it was risky to take this medication and get pregnant at the same time and it was made clear to me to use double protection.

Were you told to try and have intercourse while being on such medications?

Yes, as part of the therapy. And since no contraceptive is 100% effective, even if double birth control is used, now I feel that the risk I ran was way too high and that it is irresponsible of any practitioner to put a woman on those drugs while encouraging her to have penetrative sex. Its just not worth it, at least for me.

Did the drugs work well for you or did you experience side effects?

Xanax worked for the first sessions, then gradually it stopped working. As the dosage was increased, my body responded less. As for side effects, I just had good effects, I was sleeping like a baby.
As for EffexorXR, I had lots of side effects there the first few days: I had no appetite at all, I had insomnia, I was sweating and my hands were shaking, I couldnt write as I normally do.
After a week or so, the medicine began to work, I remember feeling great, with lots of energy, I felt that I wanted to do everything, I was hyper and the side effects stopped. I just had the hand shakes and that kept happening for two months.
When I stopped taking the drug for 3 or 4 days I had very bad side effects though. I felt terrible, I felt that I wanted to scream and cry and couldnt breathe normally, when I finally took the medicine again, the side effects stopped but something very weird happened to my behaviour then. I felt sad, very sad and had a lot of mood swings, some kind of a crisis where I was not able to control my mood swings. I started to get worried about this medicine and tried to discontinue it but it was very hard and full of side effects, especially: dizziness, nausea and sadness.
It has been 3 weeks since I fully quit it and I am just now beginning to feel the old me again.

Did vag. come back when you stopped taking the muscle-relaxants ?

I was very scared that it would but until now I have had normal intercourse without pain although I still have to keep exercising with the dilators beforehand. I have to wait and see, but I want to believe that it will not come back at least not for this reason.

Would you recommend those drugs to other women or not ?

Maybe I would recommend taking a tablet of Xanax for the very first dilating sessions, it definitely helps to overcome the fear of seeing and touching yourself for the first time! But not for longer than that, not at all!
Especially not if you are also trying to have penetrative sex. I definitely feel that I didnt need to take Effexor for such a long time. I am not a doctor of course and not an expert in curing vaginismus, but my heart and body told me that I didnt need that drug for such a long time; the first two months it gave me happiness, but it was an artificial happiness and then brought me a lot of sadness, and things that I could never imagine were going to happen to me.
So my advice: try going natural!
Once your body and mind learned the lesson, just keep practicing and do not put pressure on yourself.

General Information to know when considering anti-depressants for Vaginismus

#1. Who can prescribe what? PhDs aint Doctors!

Some doctors are very wary of giving anti-depressants or other powerful drugs to women with vag.
Other doctors and therapists apparently give them out like candies instead, quite irresponsibly or without even having the proper licence to do so.

So first of all, lets clarify some legal information.
As a general rule in the USA only MD's, D.O.s, PAs and nurse practitioners can write prescriptions for those drugs and only those people are supposed to recommend changes in drugs.

So be careful, just because some people may use the word doctor in their websites or contact email, that could mislead you into thinking they are MDs when they just have a PhD. Big difference.
Make sure you find out whether they can legally prescribe those drugs for you or not or if they have special arrangements to do so or to change your dosage without you seeing a doctor first.

Regular registered nurses can do patient medication teaching but they are not supposed to tell patients to switch medications or change their doses without the approval of one of the providers mentioned above.
Physical Therapists can administer and store medications used for physical therapy interventions only.
US pharmacists/chemists can NOT change doses or medications either.
Social workers are definitely NOT allowed to prescribe or administer prescription drugs.

Remember that a doctor CANNOT write a script for a patient that she has not evaluated at least once in person. After evaluating the patient once, the doctor can change the dose as she sees fit. However, the doctor has to have some sort of assessment. Meaning, the doctor needs to at least talk to the patient. The doctor could also talk to a nurse who has evaluated the patient, but only to a nurse. As far as we know, social workers, physical therapists, pharmacists CANNOT do an assessment regarding drugs such as Effexor for instance. A doctor, psychiatrist, PA would have to see you first, even before changing your dosage.

So if you are worried that you have been prescribed drugs incorrectly or to report mispractice, you can contact the relevant Boards in your State (or country).

#2. Anti-depressants, birth-defects, pregnancy

This is a list of the main side-effects related to pregnancy and foetuses, which we retrieved from the official pages of each of the following anti-depressant/drug:

" Valium may cause harm to the fetus
" Ativan can cause birth defects in an unborn baby.
" Xanax has been shown to cause harm to the human fetus
" Effexor may cause harm to the fetus if it is used during the last 3 months of pregnancy.
" Elavil has been shown to cause harm to the human fetus.
" Ibuprofen may cause harm to the fetus. Do not take it during the last 3 months of pregnancy.
" If you become pregnant, discuss with your doctor the benefits and risks of using Zoloft during pregnancy, especially during the third trimester.
" Prozac may cause harm to the fetus if it is used during the last 3 months of pregnancy.
" It is not known if Lidocaine Gel can cause harm to the fetus.

It looks pretty grim.
So it's imperative that you use double protections and practice super safe sex if you are thinking of having penetrative sex while on the drugs.
However, even if the chances of getting pregnant while two forms of birth-control (usually the pill and condom) are very slim, we would suggest you ask yourself if you and/or your partner are ready to face whatever possible consequence may come, before having intercourse while on such drugs.

If you are ready to face anything with the partner you are with, then go ahead.

But if you or your partner aren't ready to face the possibility that you may need an abortion or may give birth to a deformed child, then think twice about either taking those anti-depressants or about having intercourse.

There are many other pleasurable things you could do which would not endanger a child or yourself while on those drugs.
Just think about it.

#3. Buying anti-depressants online or without prescriptions

It is dangerous to try and purchase anti-depressants on the Internet. Some of those medications may contain dangerous ingredients, or may not be distributed by a licensed pharmacy. For more information, contact the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) or visit www.fda.gov/buyonlineguide.

#4. When the drugs dont work

Not surprisingly, considering they are drugs after all, there seems to be a point when the medicines stop being effective and unless higher dosages are taken, they no longer do a thing to you.

When women report to their practitioner that the anti-depressant they are taking doesnt do much for them anymore, it is very likely that they may suggest trying one of the following:
A. increase the dosage
B. switch to another drug

A) Be very careful before letting anyone increase your dosage.
First of all, as we said in the section on the boundaries of Medical Practice, not everyone is allowed to increase your dosage. It cant be done lightly, its risky to tell you to just chew another pill, you may experience an overdose, plus, some of these drugs become extremely addictive once you take more than a certain amount per day or over a long time, and you may have a hard time discontinuing them in the end.
So make sure a doctor (a real doctor!) evaluates you before changing the dosage of any drug and think twice.

B) If you already experienced bad side-effects with one of these drugs, be careful before accepting to switch to another drug, especially if its even more powerful.

#5. Coming off these drugs

As for stopping the drug altogether once you began taking it, remember that in most cases anti-depressants will have to be stopped gradually and that only a doctor (or one of the practitioners we described above) should let you know exactly how to discontinue it, at which dosage per day etc.
They cannot just tell you to do it gradually. It could be very dangerous to stop it abruptly or to make up some personal dosage at which to come off it.
If you are currently on any of these medications, you MUST consult a qualified MD before coming off them.
Read the drugs' official sites for more information on coming off each of them safely.

#6. If OVERDOSE is suspected
or to report side-effects

All patients taking antidepressants should be closely monitored for signs that their condition is getting worse or that they are becoming suicidal, agitated, restless, aggressive etc, especially when they first start therapy, or when the dose is increased or decreased. Such symptoms should be reported to your doctor straight away.

If you are in the United States, contact 1-800-222-1222 (the American Association of Poison Control Centers), your local poison control center (http://www.aapcc.org/findyour.htm), or emergency room immediately.

You may report side effects to the FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088 (1-800-332-1088) or at http://www.fda.gov/medwatch.

Information on the drugs

BETA BLOCKERS and Vaginismus
You know the flight or fight response? When you feel physically strong and you breathe fast and feel alert and like you are full of adrenaline? When you are feeling that it is because your beat two receptors are being activated. Beta blockers block beta two (and/or beta 1 receptors which affect the heart) so that your body is less able to mount this flight or flight response.
So basically the beta blockers aren't like taking valium or ativan which works mostly on the psychological aspect... they seem to be more physical.

Although they are used, especially by musicians it seems, to avoid stage fright nightmares, remember that currently no beta blocker is approved to fight anxiety by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.
Also, different beta blockers can have different reactions but one side effect can be depression so if you are struggling with depression, a beta blocker might not be ideal. See this Wiki page for more information: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beta_blocker

EFFEXOR (XR) Effexor is probably one of the most powerful but most scary antidepressants out there. It's also one of the hardest antidepressants to go off of.

It is an SNRI, or serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor.
It is not approved for use in children and teens because it is part of those drugs which have been found to increase the risk compared to placebo of suicidal thinking and behavior (suicidality) in children, teens, and young adults

On top of what Gloria told us above, some girls in a support group for vaginismus described getting vivid, horrible nightmares (being murdered, raped and drowning seem very common), and a bunch of other nasty side effects too, including making their depression even worse, making their libido disappear or causing them problems orgasming through masturbation and getting wet.
Bad nightmares and loss of libido are both signs of too much seretonin in the brain.

More worringly still, some mentioned feeling out of touch with their own emotions, numb, paranoid, it makes you not care anymore, though obviously that seems to help others with their panic/anxiety attacks.

On a Wikipedia article on Effexor (Retreived 10th August 2007), it is said that "the development of a potentially life-threatening serotonin syndrome may occur with Effexor XR", a syndrome which is described as the Serotonine Syndrome.

From all we've read and heard, we cannot help being extremely worried about women being prescribed this drug during the treatment of vaginismus.
Especially if you are not depressed in the first place, then taking this drug just because you fear intercourse or because you or a therapist wants you to have your vaginismus fixed fast seems way too risky.
But that's just our opinion, it's your choice of course, just please be careful and think twice.

Estrogen and Vaginismus Being low on estrogen and low on progesterone can have an effect on your muscles, and so it can have an effect on your pelvic floor muscles as well. Fixing those deficiencies can definitely make dilating and physical therapy exercises easier for you. However, this might be more of an issue for women over 35, who are getting pre-menopausal, or for women who have an illness that affects their hormones, like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome etc.
But there is still the occasional woman who just happens to have a hormone deficiency, regardless of age. Although it's fairly rare we think.

Some women with vaginismus, sometimes women as young as 25, have been prescribed estrogen to help with their vaginal dryness which some doctors think (and they may be right) could cause vaginismus or make things worse for them.

Problem is that estrogen is used to treat vaginal dryness in women experiencing menopause and not in young women usually so we think you should be a bit careful there and think twice.

First of all, a woman who suspects she may be low in estrogen, and it may be causing her problems with the functioning of her private parts or her libido, can do a saliva test for estrogen levels. (and other hormone levels like progesterone and testosterone, too) It's an easy test to do. Although it's not cheap.

If a person decides to take estrogen, she should take bio-identical estrogen, and then she must also take progesterone, which is a bio-identical hormone, to balance the estrogen.

Bio-identical hormones are far superior to artificial ones, in our opinion. We know there is hot debate among doctors about the benefits of natural vs. artificial hormones.
It's just a matter of opinion, but to us it's a matter of common sense. Of course something natural is better for you. Plus, bio-identical hormones are not drugs, technically speaking. They are hormones, which occur naturally in the body already.
We believe a woman should never take progestins, which are artificial progesterone-like substances that are very bad for humans. They cause all kinds of health problems. (Plus, some of them are made from the urine of pregnant horses, so using them is contributing to horses being treated cruelly).

If you don't keep those two hormones balanced, you are at greater risk for both breast and endometrial cancer. Too much estrogen in relation to progesterone can cause those types of cancers.

It has been scientifically established that estrogen increases the risk that you will develop endometrial cancer (cancer of the lining of the womb), especially if you take it for a long time.
This is advice from Medline Plus, a service from the National Institute of Health:

"If you have not had a hysterectomy (surgery to remove the uterus), you should be given another medication called a progestin to take with estrogen. This may decrease your risk of developing endometrial cancer, but may increase your risk of developing certain other health problems, including breast cancer. Before you begin taking estrogen, tell your doctor if you have or have ever had cancer and if you have unusual vaginal bleeding.
Call your doctor immediately if you have abnormal or unusual vaginal bleeding during your treatment with estrogen. Your doctor will watch you closely to help ensure you do not develop endometrial cancer during or after your treatment."

We would suggest trying more lube instead, if your only problem is dryness. If you have other issues, you may still want to get a second opinion from another doctor before taking estrogen if you are not menopausal.

You may also want to read the following good books on hormones:

1.Uzzi Reiss M.D. "Natural Hormone Balancing for Women"

2. John R. Lee M.D. "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Menopause (TM): The Breakthrough Book on Natural Hormone Balance"


John R. Lee M.D. "Dr. John Lee's Hormone Balance Made Simple: The Essential How-to Guide to Symptoms, Dosage, Timing, and More"

VALIUM Valium is reputed to be a good drug to help relax the vaginal muscle groups and is used in the treatment of anxiety disorders and for short-term relief of the symptoms of anxiety. As Laura said, Valium for instance could be used to help women relax so they can get through a gynecological exam or Pap-smear test.
Some women will take it a day before the exam date so they can see how their body would respond to it. Some will take it half an hour prior to the appointment or right before dilating.
These drugs may make you feel sleepy, groggy, relaxed, weepy, tired or they may do nothing for you. There s no sure way to know beforehand. Make sure you have someone else driving you to the gynaecologist if youre on it.

But it sounds like it should only be a one time thing, or as per needed only. As they say here about Valium ( www.drugs.com/cdi/valium.html): "Some people who use Valium for a long time may develop a need to continue taking it. People who take high doses are also at risk. This is known as DEPENDENCE or addiction. If you stop taking Valium suddenly, you may have WITHDRAWAL symptoms."

Retrieved from www.drugs.com/ativan.html

Ativan is used to treat anxiety disorders. It may be habit-forming and should be used for only a short time. Your symptoms may return when you stop using Ativan after using it over a long period of time.

Do not take this medication for longer than 4 months without your doctor's advice. Do not drink alcohol while taking Ativan.
Withdrawal symptoms may include tremor, sweating, muscle cramps, stomach pain, vomiting, unusual thoughts or behavior, and seizure (convulsions).


XANAX is a Schedule IV drug. This is a very hardcore drug.
It is manufactured by Pfizer, the world's largest pharmaceutical company, the same company that managed to make tons of money from selling Viagra to men by making them first feel sexually dysfunctional.

It can be very addictive (it's a benzodiazepene and all the drugs from this class are considered to be very addictive) so the dosage should be reduced or discontinued gradually
This is some information from Pfizers official website page on Xanax: www.pfizer.com/pfizer/download/uspi_xanax.pdf

This is from the official Xanax page: ( www.xanax.com)
Even after relatively short-term use at the doses recommended for the treatment of transient anxiety and anxiety disorder (0.75-4.0 mg per day) there is some risk of dependence.

This is a great website and it says how this drug should be discontinued. It gives very specific recommendations, i.e. decreasing by no more than 0.5 mg per three days. http://www.rxlist.com/cgi/generic/alpraz_ids.htm

From the same site, here is the warning page:

The gist is that seizures are associated w/ withdrawal from this drug, meaning if you decrease too quickly, you could have seizures which can be dangerous. You may also experience mania and think you are crazy.
Also, it says that patients who received more than 4 gm per day had a very hard time ever getting totally off the drug. Some people can't get off it at all.

Antidepressants and loss/lack of sexual desire

Usually, women with major depressive disorders have a higher prevalence of lowered libido than the general population.
(From Segraves RT. Psychiatric illness and sexual function. Int J Impot Res 1998;10(suppl 2):S131-3,S138-40)

Anti-depressants are known to inhibit the orgasmic response in women and can cause anorgasmia, especially for those women who usually take a long time to climax or for those on a high dosage of the drug.
Both anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications can reduce sexual desire and decrease lubrification too, but again it depends on the dosage used. However, if you were depressed BEFORE taking the medicines, the lack of sexual desire could be due to the actual depression rather than to the drugs so it may be hard to understand what is the lesser evil to treat.

But it all comes down to what you (YOU, not your doctor or psych.) think is a NORMAL sex drive to have and the importance you give to it.
We too subscribe to the view that doctors are going too far with the medicalization of normal human experiences. "Low libido" is just another extremely easy way of making money out of women who are fine but labelled dysfunctional.
First of all, if it's LOW, what is it compared with ?
Who decided what is the RIGHT level of libido, what is too high and what is too low? Maybe it was a pharmaceutical company...

If you noticed in the scientific literature now there's even a "Manifest lubrication disability" label, supposedly prevalent in 8% to 15% of women!
What if these women simply had a partner who didn't spend enough time on foreplay, on oral sex for her or on those simple caring gestures which everyday make up for what's called intimacy and love ??

And what is normal regarding sex and sex drive anyway?

For some couples, feeling like sex once a week is normal but they start worrying if one of the two no longer feels like it that often. For others, feeling like it every day would be normal but generally speaking, people seem to be thinking that if you dont feel like sex for a year or more, than you certainly have a problem.

If you look online for information on sexual desire and depression, as per usual most doctors/researchers will paint lack or loss of sexual libido as this huge, devastating problem needing to be fixed.
As it is discussed in our academic article on the Pink Viagra, it is disturbingly easy to start saying that low desire is "the biggest sexual PROBLEM that women tend to have" and to then start creating some pills or other to fix it.

We really hope we will all keep our eyes wide open here, before being fooled this way and make drug companies even more powerful and society more screwed up than it already is, sexually speaking...

It seems perfectly normal not to have a sexual drive for a long time, even years, or to be perfectly satisfied without sex in your relationship.

Sex drive/libido is just a kind of energy, which can be directed towards sex or can be used to do plenty of other things, just as fulfilling or even more meaningful and helpful, so the problem probably isnt the lack SEX drive, but the lack energy in the first place, or passion for life, probably the lack of a meaningful purpose.

Isnt it interesting how panic attacks seem to happen when you are under a lot of pressure to do something your body feels is bad for you, or after youve lost something terribly important to you or while you are doing the most mundane, non-dramatic things ? Like you are in the middle of a supermarket, shopping for yoghurts, or on a train going to Uni, or in a room on your own before going to bed.

Its like a sudden unconscious realization that everybody around you has a purpose for what they are doing, a goal, an inner clarity about why they are where they are, whereas you have no clue instead so you panic or you feel like youre about to die, right there&

Would a pill cure that lack of purpose?
It would take individual attention to help a person find that passion so hopefully your partner, your family or a therapist may be in a position to help you do that, we can just leave you asking you a question which could spin some train of thoughts:
what did you love doing as a child?
What could you keep doing for ages without getting bored ?
What makes you feel fulfilled without the need to depend on someone else for that happiness?

Then see if you can go follow any passion left in you, see if you can rekindle some fire you put out ages ago in your soul, we think it's worth trying that before taking some powerful, brain-numbing drugs to open your vagina and give you a desire for sex if you dont't first have desire for life in the first place.

See what happens if you remember what you loved as a child and that we so quickly forget.

Anyway, as a rule of thumb, be careful and think twice before taking these drugs or hormones. It's a tricky thing to get the right amounts of all those brain chemicals. Do not mess around with them lightly. See what's worth and what not or what else can be done.
We are about to prepare a page on Natural Remedies and Vaginismus , which can help both with the fear (eg. Bach Flowers have been reported to work pretty well) and with the muscle tone and the depression, so hopefully that can help someone here who wants to first try something more natural.
Either way, good luck..

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DISCLAIMER: This site is not designed to provide medical advice. All material is gathered from the experience of hundreds of women who experienced vaginismus but it is for information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional or medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment. Please review the information contained on vaginismus-awareness-network.org carefully and confer with a health care professional specialized in vaginismus, as needed.