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Even after you understand where the opening is, finding the right entrance to your vagina with a dilator or finger can be a puzzling experience. It can feel like it is more elusive than the secret chamber of a Pyramid at times, but you’ll be amazed to see that finding the right angle can make all the difference!

1st tip: aim low!

Whatever you’ll insert for the first times, (q-tip, first dilator, a finger etc..), and whatever your position (standing, sitting, lying) try to aim straight in, as well as back, or down, towards your buttocks or towards the floor. That may seem strange, after all doesn’t a vagina go upwards?

Well, while the vagina in general points upward, towards the small of your back, you may find that at the entrance your vagina starts towards your buttocks and then rises. Pushing (gently!) towards the buttocks may also help unclamp the muscles a bit.

It may take some trying, but eventually you’ll find the path to the secret chamber and after awhile you will be doing insertions without having to poke around for the opening!

2nd tip: new dilator, new angle!

It may seem a weird comparison but have you ever tried on a new pair of earrings and you couldn’t find the hole in your ear anymore and you thought it had closed? Sometimes when moving from one dilator to the next, or even when having different dilating sessions in different positions, you can no longer find the right angle for a while and you may feel like you are hitting a wall again. Then if you try with the previous dilator or in the previous position, magically you’re back to finding the road again!

We are not sure how that happens but it’s not a big deal, just go back a step with the previous dilator or finger that you used and see if you can understand where exactly you should aim and at which angle. Then try again, it shouldn’t take you too long before you find it again. Then, with time and practice, finding it will be very straight-forward.

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DISCLAIMER: This site is not designed to provide medical advice. All material is gathered from the experience of hundreds of women who experienced vaginismus but it is for information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional or medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment. Please review the information contained on vaginismus-awareness-network.org carefully and confer with a health care professional specialized in vaginismus, as needed.