YOUR STEP-BY-STEP DILATING GUIDE!
15. WHEN TO MOVE ON TO A BIGGER SIZE
Ok, so let's see if we can get very practical but without giving you rigid rules to follow, since there are none..
You will know when to move on and try a bigger size of dilators because you will FEEL LIKE IT. That is the best advice we can give you, if you feel like trying, go for it!
We've heard them all: someone stayed on the first dilator forever, and then in just a couple of days moved through all the others ones.
Someone else took her time with her first 2 fingers (pinkie and forefinger) and then one day she suddendly felt like trying inserting 3 together!
Or you may prefer sticking to a routine and spend a precise amount of sessions for each dilator before moving on, or who knows?
You will have your lucky days of the month and you may only feel ok trying a bigger size on those days!
It's all ok.. Really. See how you feel, just don't get discouraged if things shouldn't work, because guess what?
You can always go back a step. It's not the end of the world, it doesn't mean "failure", it just means your vagina isn't as ready as you thought (or hoped) and since by this stage, you will be in tune with how she feels, you will just respect her, say "no problem" to her and do something else that makes you feel good instead...
Generally though, the day you'll see that inserting one dilator is no longer a problem, that the burning is gone, that the muscles aren't clamping that much and that you feel no tension or apprehension when looking at the next dilator in size, then it may be a good time to move on..
Just donít rush yourself to the next size. You need patience and gentleness to succeed, because real success means not forcing your vagina, remember...
Now, obviously the more graduated the sizes of your dilators, the easier it will be to move from one to the other.
So if you chose a set with only 3 or 4 dilators, you may experience some problems moving from one to the other, especially moving from the 3rd to the 4th one.
If you are struggling, you may want to make (cut, peel, taper) an individual dilator into the size that could fill that gap or you can consider buying an individual dilator to fill the gap or a set of dilators with more gradual sizing (see #3 on Choice of Dilators).
If you are using your fingers, you can progress from your smallest finger to your largest. If you have a partner involved, you can have him insert his finger or fingers, if they are larger than yours.
You can also insert two fingers at a time though some women find this uncomfortable as you lose the rounded, phallic shape of just one finger.
If it was too difficult to insert the bigger dilator in size or if you felt pain,or if you had to push hard and for too long to slide it inside, then just please stop.
Donít push yourself to go too fast because of outside pressure. There is no deadline here and if you and your partner decided to have one, maybe it's time to reconsider that...
One good question to ask your vagina here is: "Are you ready to move on today?" or "Do you feel brave today?".. She'll let you know :)
Back to Top
|DISCLAIMER: This site is not designed to provide medical advice. All material is gathered from the experience of hundreds of women who experienced vaginismus but it is for information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional or medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment. Please review the information contained on vaginismus-awareness-network.org carefully and confer with a health care professional specialized in vaginismus, as needed.|